Just as I was about to sign the contract for a hundred-million-dollar project, my brother came over and started telling cringe jokes

When I blinked again, that string of golden numbers was already gone. But I knew it wasn’t an illusion.

Last night, I pulled an allnighter for the project, while he sat there watching Hachimi videos on his phone, laughing so hard he nearly fell over.

Today, my project went down in flames, and he was still grinning as he told me cringe jokes to cheer me up. My life always seemed to be under a dark cloud.

Whatever I invested in, I lost money. I was still young, yet already buried in debt. But my brother was like he’d been possessed by the God of Wealth.

Winning a small lottery prize was practically an everyday thing for him.

He’d never worked a single day in his thirty years, yet he lived better than anyone, always cheerful and carefree. Relatives all said his fortune was being siphoned off from me.

Back then, I defended him to the death and refused to believe it, thinking I was just incompetent myself.

But the “+50,000 yuan” on that digital watch had matched the exact amount of performance pay deducted from me.

The “+3,000 yuan” also lined up perfectly with the money that had mysteriously vanished from my bank account. Now, I had no choice but to believe them.

I also noticed a pattern: every time money disappeared, it happened after I laughed with him. I stared at him, trying to find even a hint of guilt on that eversmiling face.

But there wasn’t any. He only looked at me with concern. “Ethan, are you okay? Don’t take it too hard.” Too hard? Of course I was upset.

But what I wanted to know even more was, exactly how much glory had I traded to make him shine? “Come with me to the car dealership.” My brother suddenly grabbed my hand and pointed at the 4S store not far away. “You’ve been wanting to change cars forever, right?

I’m in a good mood today. I’ll buy you one.” Since we were kids, he’d always been like this. Whenever I got unhappy, he’d do everything he could to make me feel better.

So I went with him. He browsed the showroom with great enthusiasm, while I took the chance to pull out my phone and arrange the followup work with my subordinates.

In the end, he picked the newest sports car. When it came time to pay, I was about to take out my own card. But he beat me to it and casually handed over his black card.

He patted my shoulder, grinning brightly. “Little brother, don’t be sad. The old one’s gone, the new one’s here! See?

You lost that crappy project, but didn’t you get a brandnew sports car out of it? Cheer up!” He handed me the car keys and told me another one of his treasured cringe jokes.

I was torn between laughing and crying, and the exhaustion and frustration of the past few days eased up quite a bit. Looking at his sincere face, I couldn’t help wondering.

Had I really been overthinking this? But just as we walked out of the 4S store, my phone started ringing nonstop. “Director Davis, bad news!

Our company servers have been hacked, and all the data is down!” Then came the stockbroker. “Mr. Davis, the stocks you hold have suddenly hit limitdown across the board.

We suspect someone is deliberately shorting them!” What kind of day was this? Why was everything falling apart? I was about to lose it.

Then suddenly, my brother gently wrapped an arm around my shoulder from behind and said with a grin, “Come on, it’s no big deal.

Even if the sky falls, your brother’s here to hold it up for you!” His warm palm landed on my back.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of that digital watch on his wrist again.

On the screen, a blinding line of gold text was scrolling by. 【Making little brother laugh with genuine joy, +1,000,000 yuan.】 I froze on the spot. One million...

That was exactly the loss from the stocks that had just hit limitdown. Sure enough, all my earlier guesses were right. He was stealing my fortune by telling cringe jokes!

My brother let out an ecstatic shout. “Holy crap! I just won a lottery ticket—one million!

Ethan, you’re my lucky star!” His voice was high and loud, instantly drawing the attention of everyone around us. I steadied myself and forced calm.

My brother waved the phone in his hand, looking smug. “Come on, I’m taking you to a big meal!

Lunch is on me today, as a celebration for our Ethan finally catching a break!” Quite a few people nearby were drawn in by his words and started whispering. “This guy’s luck is insane.

He just bought a sports car and then won a huge prize.” Seeing that, my brother grew even more pleased with himself.

He cleared his throat and told the crowd another joke: “One day, a crab went out and accidentally knocked over an eel.

The eel looked up and angrily said: ‘Are you blind?!’ The crab said wrongfully, ‘No, I’m a crab!’” At first, everyone froze. Then the whole crowd burst out laughing.

I kept my eyes locked on the digital watch on his wrist.

A line of text popped up on the screen: 【Making a group of passersby laugh, +2,000 yuan.】 But just then, a scream suddenly rose from the crowd. “Wait?

Where’s my wallet?” An auntie slapped at her pocket in panic, her smile instantly turning into alarm. “It was there just now!

How did it disappear in a blink?” That scream was like a stone thrown into a lake. The crowd’s laughter stopped dead. My heart sank. A terrifying thought surfaced in my mind.

Was he stealing more than just my fortune? An older man nearby chimed in too: “Tsk, what a shame. So young and already a director, but his fortune is this bad.

Classic richhouse poorman.” My brother heard that and immediately stepped up to argue. “Hey, that’s not how you say it! My little brother’s abilities are toptier.

He just wasn’t born with money luck. But it doesn’t matter. Whatever he loses, I can earn back for him twice over.

We’re brothers—there’s no dividing line between us!” The murmurs around us only got louder. “Listen to that. What kind of heavenly brother is this?

The brother handles the grind, the older brother handles the backup. Unreal.” “But why do I feel like this little brother is kind of miserable? Look at his face.

He lost money for nothing and still has to rely on his brother. How can that feel good?” “What can you do? It’s just how fate works.

Some people are born to toil, while others make money lying down. His brother is the latter.

He’s the former.” My hands at my sides clenched into fists so hard my nails dug deep into my palms.

Seeing my pale face, my brother leaned in again and said with a cheeky grin, “Why do people play dead when thunder strikes?” “Because fake death avoids lightning.” A passerby nearby couldn’t help snorting.

But I didn’t laugh like I usually would. I just looked at him expressionlessly, my gaze icecold. His smile froze on his face. “Ethan, why aren’t you laughing?

Was it not funny?” This was the first time since I was a kid that I’d given him a straight face after one of his jokes.

Then I saw a prompt flash across the digital watch screen on his wrist: 【Failed to make little brother laugh, first penalty 5,000 yuan】 【Making one passerby laugh, +100 yuan】 【If the task fails again afterward, the penalty amount will double】

Almost at the same time, my brother’s phone received a text. He glanced at it quickly, and his face instantly went dark. I knew that was a bank deduction notice.

His face had gone white, but he still forced out a smile and reached out to pat my shoulder. “It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s just that my joke was too cold!

I’ll tell you a warmer one...” I didn’t give him the chance. I sidestepped his hand and said in a distant tone, “There’s an urgent matter at the company.

I have to go back and handle it.” After saying that, I turned and left without looking back. Behind me, I heard him mutter a curse under his breath. I didn’t turn around.

But I didn’t go to the company either. Instead, I took another road and drove to the house of a writer a friend had introduced me to.

He was a wellknown online author who specialized in systemnovels.

After hearing my story, he calmly pushed up his glasses and exposed the truth in one sentence. “You’ve been bound to a ‘CringeJoke Fortune System.’ Your brother is the host.” “This kind of system has to rely on the positive emotions of the closest blood relative to steal huge amounts of fortune.” My thoughts drifted back into the past.

When I was little, I fell and split my knee open, crying so hard I could barely breathe.

My brother told me a joke about a little pig, and I laughed until snot bubbled out of my nose. The next day, he got the limitededition game console he’d been wanting.

In school, I failed an exam and got scolded to hell and back by my parents.

My brother pulled me aside, imitated a teacher, and told a little skit that had me laughing so hard I nearly doubled over.

Not long after, he somehow won a brandnew computer in a raffle.

I always thought that was family affection, that blood was thicker than water, that he was encouraging me in his own way.

Now that I thought about it, every time I laughed freely, it had only been a sacrifice to let him steal my good luck.

It was downright chilling. “You get it now?” the writer’s voice pulled me back to reality. “He makes you laugh, steals the fortune of the closest blood relative, and that’s the big payout—the capital that lets him rise straight up the ladder.

As for making random passersby laugh, that money is just pocket change.” Remembering what had just happened, I hurriedly asked, “Does this system have a punishment mechanism too?” The corners of the writer’s mouth lifted. “Of course.

Any system has to maintain energy conservation. Since he can profit by making you laugh, then naturally you can make him lose money by not laughing.

You can turn this rule against him completely.” His words struck like lightning through the chaos in my head. A bold plan instantly took shape in my mind.

I contacted an entertainment company and paid a fortune to hire 108 deadpan actors. I also required each of them to wear the best noisecanceling earbuds available.

Then I rented out the city center’s biggest standup comedy stage. Everything was ready. I called my brother and filled my voice with guilt and apology. “Bro, I’m sorry.

I was wrong this afternoon. I shouldn’t have blown up at you.” “Aren’t you always saying you want to be a standup comedian? I booked you a stage. Tonight.

Think of it as me making it up to you.

There’ll be a lot of people in the audience watching you perform.” There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, followed by a burst of ecstatic laughter.

I held back the corners of my mouth. He must have thought he was about to make a killing. Little did he know, this time I was going to make him lose everything!

When he saw me backstage at the theater, he excitedly hugged me and then immediately told a joke.

But I just turned my back to him, pretending to straighten my collar, my face completely blank. The smile on my brother’s face faded a little.

He suspiciously glanced at his watch, but there was no reaction at all. Still, the excitement of going onstage soon overwhelmed him, and he confidently walked out onto the stage.

The spotlight hit him. He cleared his throat and took the mic. “Hello, everyone!

I’m the star of the show tonight—a standup comedy genius whose business career got in the way, Leon Davis!

I know everyone’s tired after a long day of work, so let’s start with something simple to loosen up.

Tell me, what animal is most likely to fall down?” He paused, then confidently dropped the punchline: “A fox!

Because it’s very sly... and also very slippery!” I looked at him and didn’t laugh. Neither did anyone else in the audience. The theater was dead silent.

The smile on his face stiffened.

Awkwardly, he cleared his throat and forced out what he thought was another killer line. “Do you know, when the farm animals held a meeting, the sheep went baa baa baa, the cow went moo moo moo... so what does the horse say?” “‘Ma Shuo’ Tang!

Han Yu! Hahahahaha!” What answered him was a stretch of cold silence. The way everyone looked at him was like they were staring at a fool. My brother was visibly panicking.

He started firing off jokes like crazy: “Why did Hua Tuo prescribe Sima Yi medicine twenty times the normal dose?” “Because Sima thought he was treating a hippopotamus!” “Where do mice go after they die?” “To Australia, because they become diemice!” ...

No one responded.

He took a deep breath, his expression twisted as if he was about to march to his death: “What do you do if watching standup comedy is so cold it freezes you to death?” “Draw a right angle, because a right angle is ninety degrees—it’s warmer!” But 108 blank faces just stared silently at him.

In that eerie silence, I saw cold sweat bead on my brother’s forehead.

At the same time, the screen on that digital watch on his wrist started flashing red like crazy. “Five consecutive failures on a major task. Punishment mechanism triggered.

The deduction amount will now grow exponentially!” 【—100,000 yuan】,【—500,000 yuan】,【—1,000,000 yuan】...